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A little more conversation, a little less action, please.

If you were a female groupie chosen to provide backstage services to the band Van Halen during their late-seventies/early-eighties heyday, then certainly you hoped to be assigned either Eddie Van Halen or David Lee Roth himself. Alex Van Halen would be okay because (a) he was Eddie's brother and (b) he was the drummer, and as for husky bassist Michael Anthony -- well, he wouldn't be your first choice, but at least he was in the band. After him, you could live with getting the band's current coke vendor or M&M sorter, but you hoped to avoid dropping too far down the ladder of managers and roadies from there -- a distinct possibility in Van Halen's formal and hierarchical system of groupie management. But whatever your assignment, it was a big step up from Bad Company or Triumph to the most important American hard-rock act of your micro-generation -- a group that popstrologists agree gave the world of ponderous mid-seventies arena rock just the dose of sophomoric hedonism it needed to transform itself into hair metal in the late 1980s. Like other stars in the constellation Tip of the Iceberg, Van Halen's sole #1 hit belies a popstrological impact that was, shall we say, seminal. Finding an emotional basis for personal relationships is the greatest challenge Van Halen's popstrological progeny will face, because the physical stuff is going to come easy.
Birthsong
Jump  Feb 19-Mar 24, 1984


2004 All rights reserved. "Popstrology" is a trademark of Ian Van Tuyl.



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