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POPSTROLOGY 101

WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?

THE ORIGINS OF POPSTROLOGY

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A Pop Tart makes a tasty breakfast, but it won't carry you through the whole day.

The 450 stars in the popstrological firmament are incredibly diverse in terms of style, sound, and influence, but one quality unites them all: each and every one of them had the ability in their day to make Americans reach for their wallets. And yet prior to the rise of one Tiffany Darwish, no one had thought to shorten the distance between herself and popstrological immortality by undertaking her march to stardom in the place where America's wallets are most ready to be opened: its indoor shopping malls. Perhaps the stroke of genius that launched the promotional mall tour that launched your underage Birthstar in 1987 should be credited to one of her handlers rather than to Tiffany herself, but it's certainly Tiffany who deserves the credit for making it work in her acid-washed jeans, boxy leather jacket, and stupendous head of 1980s hair. She launched the New Kids, she sued for legal emancipation from her mother, she posed for Playboy, she changed her hair -- she did, in short, everything you can ask of a star angling to appear on VH1's Behind the Music, and when her career failed to reignite in the wake of that triumph, it only served to reinforce the lesson her early rise should already have taught you: getting your product to market is an important step, but if your product can't stand the test of time, product placement alone will never sell it.
Birthsongs
I Think We're Alone Now  Nov 1-14, 1987
Could've Been  Jan 31-Feb 18, 1988


2004 All rights reserved. "Popstrology" is a trademark of Ian Van Tuyl.



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