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POPSTROLOGY 101

WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?

THE ORIGINS OF POPSTROLOGY

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Teenagers are capable of making many choices for themselves, though the choices they make often surprise and confound the adults who seek to influence them. Yet there are some things teenagers down the generations can be depended on to choose, and one of those is to embrace their fellow teenagers (and those who can pass as teenagers) when put forth as pop stars. It is, in fact, one of the few transcendent, ironclad truths in popular music, and it is a truth upon which the stars of the constellation Teen Idol depended. Why are Elvis Presley and the Beatles not members of this constellation? Were they not idolized by millions of teens? Of course they were, but there was a bit more fueling the rise of those Massive stars than merely the fact of their being teen-dreamy. Tab Hunter was the first star whose popstrological existence can be understood only in terms of his appeal to the middle- and high-school set, and while stars like Paul Anka and Ricky Nelson were certainly more worthy than Tab of musical respect, the support of starry-eyed teenagers was as critical to their popstrological rise as it was to the rise of Donny Osmond and Shaun Cassidy. Tiffany and Debbie Gibson broke the gender barrier in the constellation Teen Idol near the end of the popstrological era, and while the arrival of New Kids on the Block to round out the list more accurately reflected this constellation's past, the rise of dueling girl Teen Idols presaged major developments in the pop-musical future.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES
It will forever be true that the quality of being dreamy is enough on its own to guarantee one a certain degree of relationship success, but if there is a glitch in the approach so many children of the constellation Teen Idol take toward their relationships, it is not just that they tend not to be as dreamy as their Birthstars. It is that they seem to believe that their only job in a relationship is to bedazzle, and this can cause them great stress as they struggle to conceal their many flaws and to adjust to the inevitable decline in starriness in the eyes that behold them.

2004 All rights reserved. "Popstrology" is a trademark of Ian Van Tuyl.



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